For those unfamiliar with my story, Screwed Up: My Life, please
start at the beginning here. The purpose of me writing this intimate account of surviving a difficult childhood
is explained here. This story in its entirety can be found at
Blurb.com and is available for purchase for $12.95 plus shipping and handling.
A month before, I had been accepted into Ricks College in Idaho and I was happy to be moving far away from Texas and starting life new and refreshed and on my own. I would have no one telling me what I could and couldn’t do with my life. I would no longer be at the mercy of other adults who got to choose when they wanted me and when they wanted to get rid of me. I would at last be free.
I would be graduating from high school in a few short weeks and then within a week taking a Greyhound to Rexburg, Idaho from Dallas, Texas to make way for college. But first I had to move in with my stepdad and his wife. I was angry and couldn’t see the light at the end of the tunnel. All I could think was that again, I was being thrown out. The entire proposition made me furious.
The day came for me to leave and I moved in with my stepdad and his wife. I felt like they didn’t want me there. I felt like I got in their way. I had to sleep in the sunroom on a mattress on the floor. I stopped writing in my journal the day I found out I had to move. I didn’t want to write how I felt because I knew it would all be negative and I didn’t want to fill my journal with negative thoughts. I kept telling myself: Only three more weeks, Allie—just three more weeks. Only think good thoughts and good thoughts only.